How do I ask my husband for help?

Amma,

I enjoy being a mother and wife, but sometimes I would just like a little extra help from my husband. I know that he works hard to provide for us, but I work just as hard taking care of our children, keeping the house clean, and making sure everyone eats well and stays healthy. How do I ask my husband to help around the house and with the kids in a way that doesn’t sound selfish. He works hard all week and certainly deserves some time to himself, but I’m overwhelmed and too tired to continue this way.

-Housewife, mother of 2

Dear Housewife, mother of 2

How awesome and wonderful you are! First of all it’s great to hear that you are interested in doing something about your situation instead of just complaining and allowing things to build up inside you. Sometimes it is easy to think you have to do everything but then resentmen builds towards others for just taking time for themselves. We all know where that leads and it’s not fun for anyone.

First, I would suggest that you just take a few minutes from everything and take a deep breath. Then think about all the great benefits you enjoy from all the responsibilities you have. Let your husband see the light in your eyes, and the enjoyment you experience from playing with the kids, or keeping the kitchen clean. Then invite him to join the fun. Make it a game to see who can get the laundry done before the other one unloads the dishwasher. Turn on some music and dance together. You can all have fun doing chores, and enjoying time together as parents. It might take a few times to get things rollin, but the more fun you are having the more your husband will want to get involved.  And if sometimes the laundry piles grow, the dishes backup and the kids are a little tired. That’s ok too. 🙂